My fancy-pants beard trimmer arrived. As you may recall reading here earlier, my previous Norelco died a quiet “Eh, I don’t feel like trimming” death last week. I ordered the Philips Norelco T980, and it arrived earlier this week. I haven’t charged or used it yet — my beard is in, but it’s fairly short. I’m just reading the box, and wondering how sophisticated “beard trimmers” are these days.
- “Sharper than Titanium” – Uh, what are we cutting here?
- “Turbo Power Boost Button” – For when I hit a dense patch? Or if Michael is in trouble?
- “9 Lock-in Length Settings” – Good, but I only ever use the one setting.
- “Flexing Comb for Complete Control” – Flexing? Who needs pilates?
- “Powerful Vacuum” – It sucks up my hair into the “hair chamber.”
- “Clear view Hair Chamber” – I can see my own discarded hair!
- “Travel/Storage Pouch” – Fancy!
I jest, but I do appreciate a good trimmer. My first trimmer was this cheapo Wahl model. It had 3 settings, and the edges of the clippers would always catch a hair, and YANK! it out of my chin. Gosh, I hated that thing. Trim trim trim trim I have a date tonight. Trim trim trim should I wear the red shirt or YANK!
Lol….and here’s me with just a pair of scissors!!
Dude, it’s 2008. Titanium blades, flexing combs, built-in mace spray, nunchuks. The 21st century has finally arrived.