A complicated beard trimmer for a complicated beard

My fancy-pants beard trimmer arrived. As you may recall reading here earlier, my previous Norelco died a quiet “Eh, I don’t feel like trimming” death last week.  I ordered the Philips Norelco T980, and it arrived earlier this week.  I haven’t charged or used it yet — my beard is in, but it’s fairly short.  I’m just reading the box, and wondering how sophisticated “beard trimmers” are these days.

  1. “Sharper than Titanium” – Uh, what are we cutting here?
  2. “Turbo Power Boost Button” – For when I hit a dense patch?  Or if Michael is in trouble?
  3. “9 Lock-in Length Settings” – Good, but I only ever use the one setting.
  4. “Flexing Comb for Complete Control” – Flexing?  Who needs pilates?
  5. “Powerful Vacuum” – It sucks up my hair into the “hair chamber.”
  6. “Clear view Hair Chamber” – I can see my own discarded hair!
  7. “Travel/Storage Pouch” – Fancy!
Norelco T-980

Norelco T-980

I jest, but I do appreciate a good trimmer.  My first trimmer was this cheapo Wahl model.  It had 3 settings, and the edges of the clippers would always catch a hair, and YANK! it out of my chin.  Gosh, I hated that thing. Trim trim trim trim I have a date tonight.  Trim trim trim should I wear the red shirt or YANK!

This entry was posted in Personal. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to A complicated beard trimmer for a complicated beard

  1. Langa says:

    Lol….and here’s me with just a pair of scissors!!

  2. Joel says:

    Dude, it’s 2008. Titanium blades, flexing combs, built-in mace spray, nunchuks. The 21st century has finally arrived.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *