Main > Easter Eggs > What Do We Know About Joel?

There are many legends, truths, and myths regarding the elusive Joel Ipe. Here is what scientists, researchers, and amateurs have pieced together, from his own random, and yes, odd, statements.

Joel trivia #2 "I'm horrible at math. I was still counting on my fingers under the desk in high school."
Joel trivia #3 "My first memory growing up was going to the hospital with my Dad, aunt & uncle, and cousins to visit my Mom in the hospital after Julie was born."
Joel trivia #4 "I've only had 4 girlfriends, because I only started dating during my freshman year in college. My friendship with the 1st is the longest continuing friendship of my life (11 years and counting), and I married the 4th one. Best decision I ever made."
Joel trivia #5 "I've suffered from eczema since I was a child. I also have asthma, and it's thought that they're related.
Joel trivia #8 "First movie I ever saw in a theater was Batman Returns."
Joel trivia #9 "I think it's safe to say that I'm a big Star Trek fan."
Joel trivia #10 "Besides Star Trek (see #9), I'm a big fan of Star Wars. Hell, just Princess Leia in the gold bikini."
Joel trivia #14 "I was a seriously chubby kid growing up, and probably because my Mom was always encouraging me to eat. I've been battling the bulge ever since."
Joel trivia #19 "I need all the bills in my wallet arranged facing the same way and in denomination order at all times."
Joel trivia #21 "I was born in the Bronx. I attended kindergarten @ P.S. 94, and attended 1st grade at St. Ann's Catholic school in the Bronx too. In the middle of 1st grade, my family moved to Rockland county."
Joel trivia #24 "Except for the occasional cup of tea, or hot chocolate in the winter, I like my beverages cold. Water? Ice cold."
Joel trivia #25 "I only drink 2% milk."
Joel trivia #26 "Growing up, I loved taking pictures, but my Dad was worried I'd break his nice Yashica SLR camera. So, he bought me my own camera in '86. I was never the same again."
Joel trivia #27 "Deep down, I feel that wherever I go, whatever I'm doing job-wise, the consultant part of me will always be there. How sick."
Joel trivia #28 "I played the string bass for 8 years."
Joel trivia #29 "When I'm driving, I can bend/warp the space-time continuum in order to arrive at my destination on time."
Joel trivia #33 "I really enjoy listening/dancing to remixed Indian music. I'm barely Indian, so go figure."
Joel trivia #38 "I suffer from severe arachnophobia & mild claustrophobia."
Joel trivia #41 "One time, my parents took me to the local Ground Round restaurant for my birthday. I practically ate my weight in spare ribs. One of the nicest birthdays ever."
Joel trivia #44 "I've worn glasses since the 2nd grade. They were big, brown, plastic ones."	[June 1984]
Joel trivia #52 "I have more obsessive-compulsive quirks than I like to admit."
Joel trivia #53 "I didn't know what it was back then, but I started experiencing anxiety attacks in elementary school. You know, being late for school, etc. Has happened in the longest time, which is good. That means my pact with Satan is still in force."
Joel trivia #56 "My friend Lee taught me how to write HTML back in 1996. It was a sad 3-page website with a big picture of a Klingon Bird-of-Prey on the front. What a dorkwad."
Joel trivia #65 "I'm allergic to chocolate. I don't get sick or anything, but if I eat a lot of chocolate over a few days, my skin gets really dry."
Joel trivia #66 "My music tastes are pretty eclectic -- Diana Krall, Marilyn Manson, Nirvana, Britney Spears, Baroque chamber music, Kylie Minogue, Notorious B.I.G., etc."
Joel trivia #67 "I am a HUGE fan of U2. My friend Matt Shuman hooked me onto them back in junior high school, and I've been a fan ever since."
Joel trivia #70 "I'm not a big horror movie fan. I can barely keep my eyes open during one. Talk about pathetic."
Joel trivia #72 "I only like to watch movies in widescreen letterbox. I hate fullscreen, since you lose parts of the movie when it's cut for pan & scan."
Joel trivia #73 "As a Taurus, I'm supposed to enjoy the finer things in life. If so, why do I enjoy the guilty pleasures like eating beef jerky, pork rinds, and licking my dinner plate clean?"
Joel trivia #74 "It's a holdover from my hard-livin' consulting days, but I really enjoy eating Cheetos and washing it down with Diet Coke. "
Joel trivia #87 "I can't sit cross-legged, Indian-style, for more than two minutes. I lose all circulation in my legs. I'm getting old."
Joel trivia #100 "My favorite superheroes are Batman and Spiderman. Batman does everything on his own, without superpowers. Spiderman has cool spider powers, and he's such a normal guy."
Joel trivia #101 "I grew up playing (and watching) Transformers and GI Joe. They were the best. I also enjoyed watching Thundercats, Voltron.....the classics. "
Joel trivia #102 "I have an almost complete collection of the 80 original issues of the Transformers comicbook series, including Issue #1. I don't have a bunch in the middle (mid-20's to mid-30's), because they're kinda stupid. I also have a number of Batman and other assorted series."
Joel trivia #103 "I thought Captain Kangaroo was great."
Joel trivia #104 "I used to watch Knight Rider religiously. I can't believe it was only on for 4 seasons."
Joel trivia #105 "Seriously, how awesome are Legos? I loved them growing up."
Joel trivia #106 "I thought Airwolf back in the 80's was awesome, until my college roommate blasted me for liking a show that was unbelievable unrealistic. Did he have to burst my bubble?"
Joel trivia #137 "When I eat at a restaurant, I like to face the window so I can watch the people outside walk around, going about their lives. It's like a big fishtank."
Joel trivia #140 "I don't think I'll ever figure out women. The more I get to know them, the less I understand them. You never know what they want at any given time. How do they even survive? It's all just one big mystery to me."
Joel trivia #162 "I will take New York style pizza over that Chicago Style Deep Dish crap any day. Come on, is that pizza or a casserole? I'll take a thin, crispy, greasy slice of NY pepperoni pizza anytime."
Joel trivia #186 "Ever since I had Indian food and ice cream with my friend Regina back in October 2004, Indian meals have never been the same. It's like Pavlov's experiment. No matter where I am, if I had Indian food, I want an ice cream chaser."
Joel trivia #188 "I love Philly cheese steaks. Provolone cheese, lettuce, tomato, peppers, onions. Hmmm, good. "
Joel trivia #200 "I never got into watching Baywatch. Seriously, not ever."
Joel trivia #201 "I wish I spoke more foreign languages besides Spanish. Malayalam (my parents' mother tongue) would have been a good start."
Joel trivia #202 "I love travelling. Business or leisure, I find the experience exciting."
Joel trivia #203 "A few years ago, I realized that no foreign food is going to kill you. Now I'm always ready to try something new. Having said that....see #206, #207, and #476."
Joel trivia #204 "I think Mrs. Field's cookies are the greatest cookies ever. I could fill up on her chocolate chip and macadamia nut cookies."
Joel trivia #205 "I'm a gadget freak, because I think the best gadgets should make your life easier. See my Toys page for further reference."
Joel trivia #206 "I hate cherries, or cherry-flavored anything."
Joel Trivia #207 "I can not stand the smell or taste of lamb."
Joel Trivia #208 "I may not eat fish, but I do like sushi. Go figure."
Joel Trivia #215 "I get bored very easy and quickly. ADD? Who knows, but I wouldn't dismiss that hypothesis."
Joel Trivia #221 "I'm horrible with song lyrics. Horrible isn't strong enough. Attrocious. Absolutely attrocious."
Joel Trivia #232 "I never did get a handle on skateboarding, rollerskating, swimming, or ice skating."
Joel Trivia #257 "I couldn't ride a bicycle for the longest time, but then I figured it out by accident one day while goofing off in some kid's basement on a rainy Saturday afternoon in 1985. Life was never the same again."
Joel Trivia #273 "I'm a huge speed freak. That explains the way I drive, my love of roller coasters, and even the road bike I own."
Joel Trivia #289 "My favorite genres are sci fi and fantasy. What a geek."
Joel Trivia #314 "Baseball caps make my head itch."
Joel Trivia #319 "I have a bad habit of nailbiting. I just can't stop. Matter of fact, I'm chewing on them right now. No manicures in my future."
Joel Trivia #340 "Num made an interesting observation that my Mom and I have a tendency to binge. If it's good, we'll just eat and eat and eat. I don't drink socially, but when I go out to officially drink, I binge drink. This is my Mother's legacy to me: living to excess."
Joel Trivia #347 "I love stopping and eating at NJ Turnpike rest areas, because I feel nostalgic over the family trips of yore. We'd always stop at one, and just eat and talk. It was a highlight of the road trip -- stopping and eating Roy Rogers or something. We all got along better back then."
Joel Trivia #354 "Defying the expectations of all Indian parents, I never had a wish to be a doctor, lawyer, or an engineer."
Joel Trivia #361 "I learned how to use chopsticks in my 1st month away in college, eating Nissan Cup Noodles."
Joel Trivia #365 "I actually suffer from a significant amount of self-loathing."
Joel Trivia #367 "The realization that I'm getting older and older is beginning to be unsettling. It's normal, but it's still weird."
Joel Trivia #388 "My birthday always falls on Earth Day. How sweet."
Joel Trivia #391 "The fastest I ever ran a mile was in 1995. I did it in 7 minutes and 45 seconds. Damn, that was a long time ago."
Joel Trivia #412 "As a kid, I watched a lot of 'The Price is Right' growing up. Ask my Mom -- it's one of her favorite stories."
Joel Trivia #435 "I have a serious sweet-tooth, except for cherry-flavored stuff. See #206."
Joel Trivia #444 "I grew up watching I Love Lucy every day. I think I've seen every episode. That woman had great comic timing."
Joel Trivia #449 "I always need someone else's help to choose sunglasses for me, as I have no ability to choose sunglasses that look good on me. No ability whatsoever. I have no idea if the ones I have now are any good either."
Joel Trivia #451 "I'm scared of large bunny rabbits."
Joel Trivia #476 "I don't know why, but Chinese Dim Sum generally doesn't agree with me. I've had it a five times, vomited once, and suffered nausea twice. 3 out of 5 ain't a good track record."
Joel Trivia #480 "I love the smell of money."
Joel Trivia #481 "I wish I knew how to do Origami."
Joel Trivia #482 "I had all of my wisdom teeth removed at the same time.  The only way I survived were the plentiful McDonald's vanilla milkshakes stored in the fridge."
Joel Trivia #483 "You know those magic posters where you're supposed to see some image if you stare long enough.  I never saw anything in any damn one. I feel like that guy in Mallrats."
Joel Trivia #502 "I must be the only guy who has absolutely no interest in watching girl-on-girl action. If there isn't a guy involved in there somewhere, I don't see the point."
Joel trivia #517 "I picked up Missy from a "Give Me a Home!" box (free) at a pet store in 1993. My Dad refused to let me bring the cat home -- refusing the entire car ride home with Missy. 11 years later....she's still here."
Joel trivia #518 "Missy is my 2nd cat."
Joel trivia #519 "I don't think I'll ever get a dog. Oh, don't get me wrong. I think dogs are great, but I don't ever want to take mine out at 4am so he can take a dump in the street, and I have to bag it up. At least cats use the bathroom like decent, civilized folks."
Joel trivia #526 "I never did beat any of the Super Mario Brother games on my Nintendo."
Joel trivia #527 "I'm not very good at video games, but I sure do love to play them."