Okay, so I'm quoting The Joker from the 1989 Batman movie. Still, no man is complete without his toys. As you probably know, I'm a gadget freak. I'm a firm believer in how technology can make your life better. Unfortunately, technology also gets old and worn out. Case in point: I don't understand people who use cell phones from 1994. Mine get all beat up very quickly, so I seem to get a new cell phone every year. I'm unintentionally on the cutting edge. Yeah, baby!

No, I don't have to get the "latest and greatest." The latest stuff usually commands a premium price, and there are often features that improve with every successive model. Don't get me wrong; if money was no object, then I'd be buying stuff left and right. Who wouldn't? A man can dream, can't he?

1999 Honda Accord EX-V6

I love cars. Throughout high school and college, I dreamed of one day owning my own car. I learned to drive on the family 1990 Mitsubishi Galant, which had power-nothing. After my mom crashed the car (again), my parents let me drive the 1988 Honda Accord. It was older, but it had power windows and door, cruise control, and even a powered sunroof.

Eventually, I graduated from Pace University and bought myself a new car. A new car! Lots of research went into it, and plenty of price comparison shopping. I settled on the Honda Accord EX-V6. Love that V6 engine.

Sony 32" Wega Trinitron

I bought this TV in 1999 after I walked into a PC Richard & Son in New Hyde Park. I saw how amazing A Bug's Life looked on it, and I just fell in love. I'm waiting to get a plasma flat panel TV one day, but this is it for now.

Onkyo HT-s767c Home Theater System

Found something in my price range that had good reviews on C|Net. It's a Onkyo 750-watt 6.1 surround box system:

• 6-disc DVD player
• receiver
• 2 large front speakers
• 2 good-sized surround speakers
• 1 large center speaker
• 1 good-sized rear speaker (6 speakers so far!)
• and probably the largest subwoofer I've ever seen

How happy am I? Watching the movies, I can hear swords clanging behind me, and the subwoofer rumbles the entire room.

Tivo 80-hour Series 2 Dual-Tuner DVR

When our previous Series 2 Tivo died in June 2007, we went out and bought this bad boy. The remote works (always a plus), and it has dual tuners, so we can record two programs at the same time. Ah yes, my wife and I can stop fighting now.

BlackBerry 8300 (Curve)

When my Motorola E815 died, and Verizon wouldn't fix or replace it for me (not even for a nominal fee), I switched over to AT&T and bought the Curve for $50. It's a smarphone, with email, calendar, contacts, and other PIM capabilities. It doesn't support 3G or WiFi, but you can't get everything. So far, pretty nice.

Motorola HS820

One of the beauties of the v710 is that it works great with Bluetooth wireless headsets. I can leave the cellphone in the living room, and make phone calls while sitting on the toilet.

Yeah, now you're wondering where I am when I'm speaking to you on the phone, aren't you?

Fuji Finest-AL

I didn't learn how to ride a bike for many years, but then I learned by accident. I first got a BMX bike in 1985, and had a blast.

Later, I graduated to a 10-speed bike in 6th grade, and I would bike everywhere.

After all these years, I really missed the feel of the wind in my face. In 2002, I bought a new Fuji bike with an aluminum frame. I've been upgrading it since 2002, as I've added clipless pedals, a cushy seat, a cyclocomputer, frame pump, and a seat wedge.

Panasonic PV-GS250

I've never owned a camcorder before. Perfect for those "children learning to ride a cat" home movies.

It's 3CCD, 10x optical zoom, Mini DV, IEEE and USB 2.0. Decent interface, and a nice sized LCD. Now if I could only use it more regularly.

Canon Powershot S80

After our Sony DSC-P71 became too unusable, we plunked down some hard-earned, er, Best Buy gift cards to get a new digital camera. 8 megapixels, great auto and manual features, and easy to use. We couldn't be more pleased.

Dell Dimension 8400

After four years, I finally got a new computer. I stuck with Dell, since I think they make quality products. Here are the quick specs:

• P4 3.6Ghz
• 1 GB RAM
• 250 GB hard drive
• 300 Gb backup internal hard drive
• DVD-RW drive
• 256 Mb Geforce 6800 video card

Dell Ultrasharp 1905FP LCD

I've had a Samsung 19" flat screen monitor for four years now, and overall it was a great monitor. Only problem was that it was huge and heavy, taking up valuable real estate on my desk.

This time around, I got a 19" LCD monitor, and I've reclaimed my desk. A small footprint, and takes up so little room, I was able to rearrange the whole side of the room. Having built-in USB 2.0 ports is just a plus.

Logitech Z-5300 computer speakers

First, my $50 Yamaha 2.1 computer speakers/subwoofer set dies after 2 years. 9 months later, the amplifier for my Logitech Z-560 burned out. It must be a curse. Anyway, called Logitech, and as the speakers were still under warranty, they sent me a replacement set of speakers. They don't offer the Z-560's anymore (I miss you, 400 watts of power), but they send me the Z-5300's. How nice of them.

280 watts, THX-rated. Good enough for me.

Logitech Cordless Duo MX

Love this keyboard and mouse. I don't have to tug and pull on any mouse or keyboard cords, and there are so many useful buttons.

HP LaserJet 1300n

Am I too much for my own electronics? After my parents' Epson 600 inkjet died after one measly year, I was wary of Epson inkets. However, I've now gone through one Lexmark inkjet (that lasted 1 year), and one cheap HP inkjet (that lasted 4 months). Is it me?

Since we had all those wedding-related invitations, labels, letters, etc. to print, we needed something a little more robust in the printing department. Using a bit of the engagement gift money, we purchased this HP LaserJet 1300n, and it has been darn great.

There are two 1300 models, but I talked Num into purchasing the 1300n model, which came with a network card. Why? Because, being networked to the home LAN means anyone can plug into the network and independently print from anywhere in the house. She loves it. None of this Microsoft Windows Printer Sharing crap.

Apple iPod 16 Gb Touch

This was a gift to replace my original 20 Gb iPods (my replacement also died). The Touch is pretty neat, I must say, but it has a tendency to act a little kooky, technically-speaking. After a few restores, and a trip to the Apple store, it seems to be working fairly well.