It’s been said that the test of a man’s courage is how performs in the face of danger. Well, in the next half hour, you’re gonna meet a very unique breed of cat. The kind of man who doesn’t know the meaning of the word fear. Joel Ipe, part-time auditor, full-time daredevil. A man willing to risk his life for the sake of adventure. He has to chase it, confront it, and whip it.

Joel Ipe, Danger Seeker!

Since the accident, we’ve been relegated to sharing one car. In order to continue working, I’ve been using alternative arrangements during the three week period while my car is at the body shop. I’ve alternated between working from home, borrowing a car from my parents, and getting rides to the office with my coworkers. Most days, I’ve been working from home. I drop the kids off, then my wife takes the car to work.

I’m of two minds about working from home. I do appreciate the option when circumstances inhibit you from being in the office, such as sick kids, contractors coming over, etc. Nothing prevents you from working, and it provides an employee with flexibility. What’s the alternative? A wasted sick or vacation day.

I used to have an employer who didn’t trust employees with working from home, due to the fears that they wouldn’t do work while at home. We had laptops, remote access, and, you know, work to do, but management was afraid of the possibility that the staff would be home watching Maury. In my opinion, it was an irrational fear. With my current employer, the flexibility makes sense, and it works for many of my colleagues.

That being said, for the 2-3 days a week that I have been home to work, it’s been a little lonely. When you’re not in the office for a stretch of a few days in a row, I have found it lonely to not have other colleagues to see, work with, or even simply to chat with. On a vacation day, you can sit and watch tv, or run errands, and be happy in your jeans and sneakers. When I’m working from home, the tv is off, and I’m sitting there in an empty house, and you feel isolated. It isn’t even that I could take a drive at lunch, since I’ve got no ride.

The days I’ve come back to the office have been nice, since I can interact with living, breathing individuals. The three weeks are almost up, so I’ll be glad to take a break from being at home, and get back out there with the rest of society.

I can feel it coming in the air tonight, Oh Lord
I’ve been waiting for this moment, all my life, Oh Lord
Can you feel it coming in the air tonight, Oh Lord, Oh Lord

Well I remember. I remember don’t worry.
How could I ever forget, it’s the first time, the last time we ever met.
But I know the reason why you keep your silence up, oh no you don’t fool me.
The hurt doesn’t show; but the pain still grows.
It’s no stranger to you or me.

And I can feel it coming in the air tonight, Oh Lord…

I found out something rather disturbing from my past Sunday night, which has now come back to haunt me. Sounds dramatic, doesn’t it?  I could also describe my situation as “My head is really messed up right now.” How about that?

In the context of my life right now, it should mean nothing, but I’m having trouble sorting out my emotions.  At the gym tonight, I heard the Beatles song “Let It Be”, and I thought it was good advice. It’s most likely going to be a few days, so bear with me if I seem morose.

[Thanks to my friends who don't know what's up, but know something is up, and are trying to cheer me up.  Your efforts are much appreciated. I'll get through this -- just give me some time.]

When I find myself in times of trouble, mother Mary comes to me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
And in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.

Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be.
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

And when the brokenhearted people living in the world agree,
there will be an answer, let it be.
For though they may be parted there is still a chance that they will see,
there will be an answer, let it be.

Let it be, let it be, …..

And when the night is cloudy, there is still a light that shines on me,
shine until tomorrow, let it be.
I wake up to the sound of music, mother Mary comes to me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.

Let it be, let it be, …..

Reporter Raakhee Mirchandani & her fiancee

An article by Raakhee Mirchandani, a features reporter for the New York Post. I came upon a mention of the article (dated March 14 2009) from Anna John’s HERstory blog, and it took me some time to locate the original article — Melting Not – Why Young People Like Me Started Dating Within Our Race.

Interesting article, which is similar to, I think, a few others, and partly my own.  I was open to dating non-Indians back then, but I knew there was something in my heart a little special about that exciting, pretty, Indian woman who later became my wife.  Everyone has to find their own “someone special”, and I do believe that you can only be happier when that special someone shares some of your interests, understands where you come from, and what’s important to you.

Again, I’m not a person who subscribes or preaches that for “You have to marry someone from the same race!” for the ultimate relationship happiness. That’s something people from my parents’ generation has always chanted. However, if you are both coming from the same culture, you are already starting the foundation on a relationship from the same core value — be it spiritual, cultural, or whatever. For me, finding someone who could also appreciate some good gulab jamun or a masala dosa (not to mention being very funny) really hits you.

I think the same applied to my wife, but you can always ask her for her side of the story. She’ll tell you that I was a jerk, but she’s just talking about today.

This is going to bite me in the butt later when my daughter Lily hits her teens, and I’m not looking forward to it. I really don’t understand that whole screaming and swooning.  Case in point – Recently some Canadian teen sensation Justin Bieber was due to show up at the Roosevelt Field Mall in Nassau county, NY (one of the largest malls in NYS.)  Mr. Beiber didn’t show up for a  while, and the mob of screaming women grew until it became a problem. He never showed up, and they had to disperse the crowd.  Watch the embedded video below. Aren’t teenage girls nuts?

As of yesterday, I completed work on my last audit of the year, so now I’m “free.”  I say “free”, because I’m going to obviously help out whoever I can, but I’m basically unassigned for now.  Time to do research, help out anyone who needs it, and studying. Studying? Heck ya.  As I roll into the rest of the year, it’s a great opportunity to study and catch up on my continuing education credits (CPEs), back to studying for my CISSP, and learning new things.  It’s also a good time to unwind and start using up the rest of my vacation time.

First order of business, I celebrated.  I bought steaks on Sunday, in preparation for a celebratory dinner.  Monday night, I marinated them, and had them ready for some grilling.  Tuesday night, I asked a friend for more tips on grilling, as I didn’t want to screw up my steaks.  Too late.  I’m not sure what happened, but it all went awry. 

The good news was that the mashed potatoes and the mixed veggies made inside the house before grilling the steaks came out great. However, once I broke out the grill, it went downhill. The left burner wasn’t working properly, so I had the middle and right only to use. I had them up on high to get the grill to 400 degrees.  I put the burgers and steaks on, and came back in 8 mins to flip the steaks and burgers in 8 mins, but they had mostly charcoaled to a crisp on one side.  Out of four steaks and three burgers, one steak was pretty bad, but the other 3 steaks were salvageable.  The burgers were charcoaled to cinders.

Part of the problem was probably that I was trying to grill by a dim outdoor light and a flashlight. Once the steaks were medium-well, I brought them in, and my wife and I spent some time slicing off the charcoaled portions. Still edible, but not the greatest.  I had to throw out the fourth steak (the most charcoaled), and all of the burgers. It was a learning experience, as I’ve never grilled steaks in the dark before. I was a bit depressed, but my wife cheered me up, and we later ate ice cream and watched TV on the couch after the kids went to bed. This week, I gotta check out what’s wrong with the left grill burner.  Next time, I’m going to grill when there’s still light outside.  Grilling by flashlight wasn’t fun.

Second order of business, I took today (Wednesday) off. It was a wonderful day of unstructured time. I dropped the kids off late (9am), ate breakfast while watching TV, and chilled out.  However, in just a short while, I remembered that I’m not a “do nothing and enjoy it” type of person. I get bored, listless, and generally…. feeling guilty.

I did some handyman (handy husband?) stuff in the kitchen to fix and organize the drawers/cabinets that had loose knobs — no easy feat as you have to empty and take apart the drawers to tighten the knobs.  Since I was doing that anyway, my wife had recommended last night that I clean them up while I’m at it.  I did that too. Organized the junk in the drawers that have accumulated like detritus since we moved here in 2005.  I had fun using my cordless drill/driver.

I also vacuumed, reloaded the dishwasher, cleaned up the stove, removed all the infant stuff we don’t need anymore, laundry, took out the trash and recycling, and some other stuff I think. I also made dinner before I picked the kids up in the evening! It was a busy afternoon, and that’s how I like it.  I really do enjoy my free time when I’m accomplishing something!

Read an interesting article on MSN Money about outlet malls, titled “Are Outlet Malls for Suckers?” Hmmmm, it was a thinker, but it confirmed some of my suspicions.  Back in college, I once worked at an outlet store one summer, so I know about it first hand.  There are different types of outlet stores.  Some have damaged or “less desirable” merchandise from the regular stores, some sell lower-end merchandise, and others sell the exact same products as the regular mall stores. In all, prices varied.

It all depends on what you want, and what you want to pay for.  I wasn’t aware of all the psychological and marketing thought that goes into the location of an outlet store, the pricing, the discounting, etc. Maybe I’ll take that with a grain of truth.  In the end, I’d still follow the recommendations the author lists:

• Pay attention to details.
• If you don’t know, ask.
• Research prices before you go.
• Deepen the discount.
• Check the clearance racks.

I find that I like Brooks Brothers, and have been shopping for my work clothes there since I starting working out of college back in ’99.  However, I don’t like to pay the outrageous prices at the regular stores.  I find the “346″ brand pretty good (or “good enough for me”) quality at more reasonable prices. I bought my first two suits for work back then, and they’ve been great quality.

I remember back in high school when I thought the days would pass so slowly.  Sure, the months would seem to pass slowly, but the days themselves felt like an eternity.  I’d be sitting in study hall, and the clock would take its inexorable march to reach the end of the day.

I compare that to college, when I would blink, and the semester would be half over.  First day of class.  Blink, mid-term exams. Blink, final exams. Blink, the summer was here. Blink, new school year. How the heck did that happen?

Life seemingly slowed down a bit once I was out in the workforce.  It was a busy time, but it seemed as if life was proceeding at its own normal pace.  There was none of this “Where did the weekend go?” nonsense.

After I got married, and the kids came, I’m not even going to bother stating the weekends passing by quickly.  The months and years were whizzing by at “Ludicrous speeed.” I will think back to some event, and I’ll realize that it was, oh, 2007.  I’ll then proceed to be shocked that, wait, that was two years ago. How can two years feel like last year? I wonder if the rest of my life is going to be like this? I’ll start talking to other people about how “Before you know it, the kids will be all grown up.” And I’ll become that grumpy older guy at the office who’s always complaining, and disliking all the new kids.

Conceivable? The way time is whizzing by, probably so. I’m not complaining or freaking out here.  I’m just stating the obvious, and how shocked I am every day.

Today, we had a nice family brunch at our favorite diner, and then went over to ShopRite for some weekend grocery shopping.  Geez, the place was wall-to-wall people.  I guess Sunday is a popular time for folks to go grocery shopping.  I was at the deli, holding my ticket number 63 in the queue, and I watched everyone talking to the deli clerks, ordering their meats and cheeses.

[Before I describe further, I should explain what I'm doing on the deli line, as there is a backstory to this.  I have an agreement with my wife that if I bring lunches from home, I take the theoretical money I would have spent, and place it in a virtual cookie jar.  The theoretical money in the virtual cookie jar goes to our future HDTV.  There's also an accounting spreadsheet that I am tracking all this.  I have been standing on the various deli counters weekly.]

I have noticed that it’s not a formal affair ordering at the deli counter. You don’t just give them your number, place your request, and walk away at the end.  There’s a lot of…. conversation.  Everyone is talking, the deli clerks are giving recommendations on the cuts of meat and cheese, they’re asking how you want it (thin or think sliced), and the deli clerks will even give you a slice or two to taste before you get locked in to your 1/2 pound of oven-roasted turkey.

Maybe this is normal, but doesn’t it strike you as odd? I’m not saying it’s wrong at all.  Frankly, the way we spend our workdays screaming at backstabbing each other, it’s mildly refreshing to see such a relaxed and friendly atmosphere…. at the deli counter. I wonder why it’s so friendly and jovial? You wouldn’t chat this much while placing your order at a pizzeria, would you?